live and learn

You begin to appreciate family so much more after being away at school.
Some people say they find themselves when they go away to school. Me... I believe I have lost myself, and find myself again each time I come home.

I am so thankful... for my amazing family, who has supported me my entire life and has pushed me to excel in everything I do.
And for my unbelievable friends, who are there for me through thick and thin.

I find myself feeling bad for myself all the time... complaining and wishing. It's days like today that force me take a step back and think about everything I have.

I am going to bed full tonight, when half of the world is starving. I am going to bed knowing I am loved, when half of the world is without loved ones. I am going to bed in a big comfy queen sized bed, when half of the world is sleeping on the ground in the bitter cold. I am thankful for the gifts God has given me and every opportunity he has laid out for me to take. I am thankful to be alive, and to have the world at my feet.

Today.... be thankful.

Happy thanksgiving <3

I am the luckiest girl in the entire world.

You always build up a guy that is "perfect" for you in your head... but you know there is no way he could ever be real so you settle for the guy that comes pretty close.

Don't.

I never knew it was possible to care about somebody so much. I never knew it was possible for someone to be so selfless. I've never felt so important to someone else in my life... so compatable... SO perfect.

It's unreal, but so real at the same time.

You know....
I've had the WORST luck lately.
Tickets... things getting stolen... me just being irresponsible... breaking my finger... ending my cheerleading season when it matters the most my senior year...
but actually it's really all okay. I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world because of the people I have in my life.

My friends.... Just for being the best.
My family... for supporting me... relieving some stress.
And the best boyfriend in the entire world.. who treats me like a queen.. even when i might not deserve it.


I love you all.

I can't excel in the things i'm passionate about because of the things i am obligated to do.

I wish i could enter EVERY category of mipa.. i wish i could've done the spring musical all 4 years of high school... i wish i had time to go out with my friends, and make hundreds of memories with them... i wish i could be the best dancer i can be... but i can't. i can't do any of the things i WANT to do because of cheerleading.

I don't even do it for myself anymore. I'm doing it because i'm obligated to my team and coaches. All it is to me is added stress in my overly busy life.

Lately... I think the whole cheerleading team has felt the same. How can we even be motiviated to do well when our coaches don't believe in us, and only bring us down? How can I believe in myself when all they do is pick on ME because they have their "favorites" who they could NEVER blame, even if it IS their fault. I'm sick of everything being about politics... about "seniority"... who's been on the team longer... blah blah blah blah blah blah.. it's all just complete crap.. and too much pressure!!!

I hate being stressed about something that i don't even like... that i shouldn't even be DOING... that i'm not even passionate about. Because of this... my mood is being dropped down in everything else i do. I'm never in a good mood anymore. I look at everything negitively. It's not like me.

It seems like I'm being punished for something...
I got pulled over yesterday for "following someone too close"... when i didn't even notice i was doing anything wrong. How can a cop scream in a teenaged girls face and make her cry, throw a ticket in her face and not feel any sympathy? Even after I told him i just emptied my bank account for something else and I'm trying to save for college... AND i'm wearing a bow in my hair cause i just cheered a game. What a dick.

On top of that after my competition last night I realized my ipod, new curling iron, and make up bag was stolen out of my bag. I'm really just loving life right now.

Help me.

i'm vulnerable...

that's the only way i can explain it.

people talk crap... and even the people who are supposed to be my best friends don't know me well enough to know its not true.

the people i'd do anything for won't stick up for me when i need them too..

.... sometimes i don't know where i belong.

"...Love is most fully expressed when we give of ourselves with no interest in gaining something from it. Love is wanting what is best for another simply because it is best for that person. Love is the greatest of the virtues. Love is the opposite of selfishness. Love truly makes the world a beter place. Without love, we have only emptiness."

I love you.

My Grandma is in town from Sault St. Marie. I love seeing her because it reminds me of where I get my crazy hyper side. She's hillarious.

I love my friends, my family, and just everyone I've come across these past few months. I'm so excited for the new year. Everyone is growing up, and everything is changing.

I'm officially going to Michigan State.. and rooming with Chelsea Kneip!

I'm seeing the world in a positive way... I have an open mind... and I'm looking forward to my life.

With God before me... nothing is against me.

i'm kind of scared for my life.
what's going to happen... where i'm going...
times are hard.
for all i know my parents could be unemployed tomorrow.

I feel like i'm stressed a lot, and my body is sore 24/7 going from school to tutoring 5th graders to cheerleading and straight to dance not getting home til 10 to start my homework. Grrr. If only my hot tub was working.
(hahah like that would solve everything or something?!)

I was looking through old stuff on my computer... and it was bringing back memories. I always love remembering old stories and laughing about it with friends. Me and lauren pretty much relived spring break 2007 in the car on the way to face to face a few days ago. Hahaha... some GREAT times.

I think I need to stop worrying so much about the future. Just start living for right now. That's what's going to matter. I need to enjoy high school while i can.. and look back on times like these and laugh about them. That's the cool thing about life. You never know where it'll take you...

All you have to do is.. live.

schooooooolll's OUT!!!

i'm soooo excited to get a little break.. people will be in townnn from school which is very exciting.

i will be seeing bradley for the first time in 1229473587 years...
eating my face off on thanksgiving...
and cheering at FORD FIELD for the STATE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

hell yeah ... dragon's are NUMBER ONNNEEE!! :)